Blog

A trip to Dulwich College.

Not just a trip down memory lane but a journey. This was my old school here in England, where I completed my Advanced Level studies.

Yet to understand the present, one is obliged to drop a stone into the river of time and learn the significance of the destination. I had left the school right after my A Level exams to go to the USA with my parents, 31 years ago for a week long vacation to visit family friends. Little did I know that day when I boarded the plane to New York, I would never return to my home nor meet any of my classmates again. Armed with a pair of jeans and shorts and few t shirts bound for a US holiday, I landed at JFK, not realizing that I would soon apply and get accepted into an American university to continue my childhood dream of going into medicine.

My papers left scattered on my desk in my room, or my pen left uncapped, or my clothes hanging in the cupboard would never be seen by me again, as my parents packed up our England home forever on their return and I would not see it for decades till this present day trip.

I would be in the dormitories till graduation and then my career would take on its own trajectory as the months and years rolled by. It was a serene feeling that was perturbed by the butterflies in my stomach as we parked the car on the grounds of Dulwich. The history of the boys school is astounding and honestly quite daunting as the list of famous people who I can call fellow “ old Alleynian” classmates start back from 1619. The school has seen many wars and changes yet the elaborate architecture of the building remains an iconic reminder to all Londoners. The college has spawned many a great literary, a poet, Princes, inventors, artists, military leader, adventurer and many a boys imagination to do great things and the courage to learn the ways of the world paired with the discipline to succeed and the etiquette of high society.

I brought the family, to my kids where their dad had studied. To show them the history of the school, my history more importantly. Where I went to classes, where I ate my school lunches, what clubs Iw as involved with, and where my friends and I tried to climb out the window at the end of one of the classes to get to the lunch cue ahead of others.

I had been very active in many a school club, and I started many of them. But to see the signs of the “Hindu Society” that I had initiated for the first time since the school’s inception in the 1600s in a largely Christian congregation and for it to have lasted 31years was awe inspiring.

I walked the hallowed grounds and with each footstep a memory was surfaced, be they fond or tough. I had gone to Dulwich during a time of family financial difficulties as my parents worked arduously to put me through one of the top 3 boys schools in the country to make sure I was educated well. Much gratitude. Yet we had many hardships mom, dad and I, having lost everything in the Gulf war of 1990 a few years prior, and were struggling to survive yet making the most it. The subjects I took were challenging to say the least.

But each memory held gratitude. And then at some point I looked away from the family and our tour guide and I wiped away my tears. They were not teas of sadness but tears of joy. I silently connected back to the 16 year old boy who studied and faced many trials of growing up. I touched my heart tenderly as I would have his, and told him these words “ Nitin, everything turned out ok for us, you can rest easy”.

In quantum mechanics and theory the past and the future are currently coexisting with the present. So the future me and the past me are experiencing life just as real as I am in this moment. All versions of me are existing in their own realities blissfully unaware of their fellow time travelers. The only that connects all versions of us across time and space is an indestructible thin chord of energy that is woven through the hearts of these versions of us.

Hence through this chord I rekindled the energy of the younger confused, inexperienced me, and informed to be at peace and not worry about the future, as a big brother would to a younger one offering solace and love. A hug and an emotional release was felt as suddenly it became easier to breathe. A weight across time and space was released. We do not know the future and so hold the tension of the “unmanifest” events with dis ease, but with trust and faith everything does work itself out. The knots in the fabric of space time can be undone not with a wave of a magic wand but with love and gratitude.

I let go my tighter grasp of the unrealized dreams of my future, and allow them to come into reality when they are ready, no rush, no tension, no impatience. Flow.

My trip to Dulwich college was more of a healing that I did not recognize was more important that I had previously paid attention to. With a lighter heart I left this symbol of educational excellence with the ghosts of memories of the past dancing at now being free and attaining peace.

My children now have an improved understanding of their dad, perhaps more than they cared to know at this age level. I smiled as we drove off, perhaps a see you later, or perhaps just an acknowledgment of who I am today. Our origins are always to be cherished with a reverence, for without our past who are we today, and without our today who can we become tomorrow.

…………….

I love you