We like the idea of being tough.
Tough in our words, tough in our resolutions, tough in our bodies. But what does toughness mean? And why do we need to be tough? To answer the latter first, for many the theory is that if we are tough then the world cannot hurt us. We need to be ready to face the tough hardened world. Yet what if we teach our kids in addition to be versatile and adaptable. What if we teach them to be able to soften the world instead of having to stay reactive to it.
For many toughness means to be thrown in to the deep end of the pool and suck it up and survive. Yet have we dared to teach them to swim so they can learn to thrive ?
Being uncomfortable is a means to grow for sure. We all need the challenge as a stimulus to grow but with the RIGHT amount of support, otherwise it is a recipe for disaster. I believe that toughness is a decent measure of survival but not a measure of thrival, which is more important.
Depending on the situation in life, toughness holds its value. In a poverty stricken environment or in a gang setting, there is no ability to thrive just plain old survival. Yet on a regular basis when the opportunities to grow and evolve are abound, being tough does not mean to face the world alone. I believe it is an opportunity to cultivate friendships that are long lasting and creating a network of connection so that each person can support each other.
In a team environment studies show something interesting. We can see that when each individual is working for the betterment of the group and for the other person, the whole team thrives. When each person is just working for themselves and trying to be tough then the team suffers.
As a collective species of humanity if we each work for not just ourselves but truly for each other, I wonder will humanity survive or thrive? At the moment we are nowhere close to our ultimate potential as divine seeds masquerading as humans. WE have barely scratched the surface of our intellects, not yet seen the depths of the human heart unfold and not expanded our abilities to bond with our planet. But humans have a tremendous capacity to love and grow.
The answer to the question of toughness depends on our ability to choose between surviving or thriving.
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I love you
