Getting the bad report card.
A,B,C,D,E,F….Pass, or Fail, grades on a report card. We strive towards the Pass or the A grade, and when achieved we are happy. When a lower grade or Fail grade occurs then this disrupts our demeanor and we get upset. We continue on this roller coaster of trying to fulfill others’ expectations, and then we base our own happiness on these emotions. Why are we so dependent on these grades and why do we let these expectations affect us adversely. We should always aim for the best, but as long we are doing it for ourselves. All too often we expend our energy towards pleasing others, and end up living our lives for others and not for ourselves.
When we start the process of getting successful, have you noticed that in many cases that it does not last. Same goes for resolutions that we embark on every New Years Day. But give it a fortnight and we are back to where we started, and then the grumbling, frustration, and dissatisfaction begins all over again. It is our normal tendency to strive for a good outcome, and then as things go our way, we end up with a concept called self sabotage. You might be thinking “that cannot be right, why would we do such a preposterous act?” The answer is simple, guilt. Since childhood, some experience or the other has taken seed that led us to feel guilty and in doing so harboring the feelings of undeserving. Such an example is when you were doing really well in school, but were compared to someone else (either a classmate or sibling) who was not, and so our subconscious out of compassion towards the person who was comparing, sets the scene for us to be less than who we are, and so backing off from our well-doing, with the feelings of guilt. This leads to self sabotage and then we falter. We are unconsciously repeating this in our daily lives. In teenage years this is called rebellion.
” I don’t deserve this really high paying job” ” I don’t deserve to be happy in this relationship” ” I don’t deserve these new toys” These self deprecating thoughts race through us with so much force that we believe them to be truths, and then just as subconsciously as they arose, then subconsciously we prophesize our doom, and we fall from our path. This leads to our failure, subsequent anger that we then hate, and start to go down the path of negativity. So here in a nutshell, is not only the answer to how we end up with a bad report card but also how to change it around.
Overcome the subconscious seed planted innocently, with new seeds of courage, conviction, and consistency. Know that you were not meant to merely live, but instead to live merrily, with valor, victory, and vigor. So go laugh at your bad report card, and know that it is not YOU, and that you can do better. Know that you are not the product of this bad report card, and you are not to be defined by it. Strive for the “rebellious bad report card “with a smile, and find that just the reverse happens.
Bad report card? Time for a time out to rethink your life and how you approach your future.
