So this happened this week.
Filling in a void in my own health.
What does that mean?
It is in a moment of vulnerability where one discovers the precipice to change. Here is My story.
I never liked exercising growing up, living in the Middle east, expected to perform at sports in 130 F outdoors. I hated anything to do with physical activity. Ridiculed in sports, bullied for not being fit, I drudged every time I had to tie my shoe laces, which as a matter fact I inherently did not learn till much later as a means to avoid going to Phys Ed. The kids grew up faster, stronger, and taller. I did not.
I knew my high value goal of healing would be eventually expressed in some fashion as I wanted to be a cardiologist like my father since I was about 3 years old. That came true. Over the years continued dabbling in sports such fencing, karate, basketball, yet with no great regularity. More of fleeting hobbies I would say. The older I became the less physical activity I was interested in, having wasted considerable membership fees in gyms that I never dared to enter and even more creating an entire gym at home that has yet to be touched or machines turned on in 15 years.
Neglect set in with becoming overweight, badly conditioned, surviving on cookies, ice cream, soda, muffins, chips ( my favorite food groups at any grocery store). Fitness and health had become abstract concepts that were only useful in” telling ” patients what to do about their own health. I grew accustomed to this degraded lifestyle with prolonged periods of fatigue and exhaustion after a days work at the hospital and office, and vegetating and watching aimless TV with my reliable friendships of ice cream and cookies and such. The bottom of the chips bag was quickly reached as if I were digging to find yet another treat to satisfy the hole I had slowly fallen into over the years. The heaps of discarded boxes of cookies were yet another reminder of the rewards I reaped of a depressed mind.
Till one day something clicked inside my head. My wife was on a health kick regime. I was intrigued. My blood sugar was too high and my cholesterol too out of range for me to believe that it was mine, and so I discarded the lab results page believing this was not me. After all I am a doctor. This is not my problem, but just that of a patient. Ill health couldn’t possibly happen to me. The numbness slowly wore off as my mind chose to move in a different direction. I joined her and started to lose weight. Went from a 34 inch waist to a 26 inch in 6 weeks. Blood chemistry radically shifted so did my brain chemistry to now seek out a new goal. A new challenge to fill my “health void”. I met a co worker Tanya who was doing Crossfit. I saw a video of her doing amazing things in a work out. My first response. ” I want to do that. ” I sought out the nearest Crossfit gym to my home. I spoke to the head coach Brian cook at Crossfit Swarm.
Brian told me one thing that sold me: ” You only have to walk through those doors, we will do the rest.” That’s how it started. I walked in and signed up on the coldest day of the year, at 6pm, in the winter dark with 10 inches of snow on the ground. The state was shutting down for emergency vehicles only. All excuses were in front of me. There I did it. Sign up and ready to launch. Second day met another insightful coach Paul lentini. And there onwards began a series of workouts few times a week as I discovered ever increasing flaws of my body, and ever increasing beauty in its design. The diet and exercise train has derailed briefly only a few times for short periods, but always been able to get back on track faster and less chance at falling off the next time.
My fitness struggle has pushed me to do competitions such as the Crossfit Open and races that I had never dared to enter and met awesome athletes on the way with tremendous potential and drive. My literal run in with Brian palazzi, cross fitter and runner, led to the path of running and he dragged me along to numerous 5Ks, 10Ks, and a half marathon, with his signature statement to me ” Nitin this race sounds like a bad idea, let do it !!” Joined the famous RYH running group no less with fitness aficionados who I now call as friends.
I am not perfect. I am human. With all its flaws and perfections. This training was for me to learn the correct forms and gain the insights of balance of my mind and body. An opportunity to help educate others in functional movements, fitness and health. Yes that’s right FITNESS and HEALTH. I know what it means now. I know how it links to my high value goals in my life. I own it. The universe gave me numerous opportunities to overcome my ill-healths. I finally chose to listen.
We do things in our lives when we have to fill voids. My precipice was my constant junk eating and feeling miserable in mind and body. Took the leap to change. We rise by discovering these challenges and the support that is always there. We rise by accepting our authentic and vulnerable self.
I am in complete gratitude for every person, coach, fellow athlete, runner, friends and family ( especially wifey, Nitika bhatnagar) that I have met along the way that entertained and continue to support my journey.
Looking forward to an inspired future with this new skill set.
#selfempowerment
#inspiredliving
#crossfit #fitness
#health #love
