CORONAVIRUS TO CONSCIOUSNESS
Chapter 1 The doctor becomes the patient.
It has been a month since I was sick, hence no postings. I come up for air and breathe, and write again. Here is a short tale of falling sick as I process my own insights and spiritual revelations and share them with you.
Jan 7 woke up very early in the morning feeling exhausted, and tired. It was just all the training that I had been doing I said to myself. I probably needed a bit of rest I wondered. Checked the temperature. 99.8. Ugh Something was up. Staying in bed. Felt worse as the day went on. Decided to check for covid with a home test.
As I waited patiently for the test kit to NOT change color, I felt weaker and weaker. Then the worst fear came true. A tiny tip of a sharpened pencil width of blue showed up at the 10th minute of the test. I was POSITIVE for COVID. I thought for the moment that I should probably urinate all over this test and see if it turned a wider blue. Could I have a little covid? Well it was not like being a little pregnant. I either had it or I didn’t.
I had it.
Back to bed. A whole host of supplements came my way for the next week. Vitamins, NAC, quercitin, electrolytes, Vicks on the feet. I did everything I could to stave this illness off.
Jan 8,9 felt better however just wiped out. A small pile of dishes that needed tending was enough to push me back into bed for the day. But I had no temp. 97.6 for the two days. I was thrilled.
Then everything went to hell in a hand-basket. Sunday night fever returned and for the next few days kept rising from 99 to 102. Slight cough but a profound sense of weakness, to the point that I could not turn the cap off a ketchup bottle ( albeit sometimes it is challenging even for the strongest ).
Day 6. I pretty much DIED. No joke. Sats had dropped to the 89 90% heart rates were high. I was not nor am I to this day afraid of covid or death. But that night, I had no will to live. MY breaths were short and I had no desire to breathe any longer.
I said my good byes to the family. I mentally wrote an online post saying simply “ Thank you for allowing me to serve you for the last 10 years. If you have learned anything from my writings then learn to love yourself and everything around you. Blessings of love. Good bye. Doc Nitin”
I took what felt like my last breath and went to sleep.
At this point my wife who turned from dentist, artist extraordinarie, home schooling mom and human behavior specialist to nurse, respiratory therapist and caregiver for me said enough is enough and between my physician dad and my friend Dr Diggs they darted about and got me Hydroxychloroquine, Azithromycin, oral and inhaled steroids, high dose VIT C, D, zinc, nebulizers.
The next few days were tough and touch and go. Slow progress in my quarantined bedroom. Each day my incentive spirometer showed my progress despite my lowish sats, and high heart rates and very low BP. I kept aiming for the little ball to go higher. Bone broth, hydration , 29 tablets of supplements and meds a day, and lots of unrestful sleep and plenty of TLC from everyone ( for which I am very grateful, especially to the friends and family who contacted me daily to check on my progress), life gingerly came back into my bones and blood.
2 and half weeks I stayed in bed. Too weak and exhausted to leave my room. No strength to write, or even read books due to fatigue. Learning to be a patient, exploring the depths of vulnerability. SO many awarenesses, emotional releases, and deep spiritual cleansings. Understanding patience, safety and the spectrums of healing and compassion. ( Will share in forthcoming posts )
As I integrate all my feelings, fears, emotions and wisdoms that arose from this experience I am grateful for this illness with complete grace. Sometimes when we reach rock bottom, it is a great place to build a foundation and rise up.
I have not shaved since that day I fell sick. I choose now to own this beard as a penance of sorts till I get strong enough to get back to my training, where I once was and beyond.
I so missed writing and leaving my signature “ I love you” at the bottom, so here goes….. from my heart to yours.
……………..
I love you
