Relationships are fascinating encounters. They can be messy, they can be loving. They can be complicated, they can be simple. They can be inspiring, they can be destructive. They can be radiant, they can be dark. One thing that is common in all relationships, is that we fight. Be it with a spouse, a friend, a co worker, our kids, our parents, it does not matter, we disagree, we get hurt, we take revenge, we fight to salvage our selves.
Yet it is not the fight per se that is the issue, it is what lies underneath. There are 3 scenarios that are in a constant dance in all relationships.
Power versus control. A common problem where each person is warring for control over the other and preserving the power in the dynamic, for whoever has the power “wins”. The irony is that the more the power the less the victory. It is just an illusion of winning and the play for achieving power harms the self more than the other. Control or rather the lack of self control is the first path to our demise. It is the quintessential shadow frequency that destroys any relationship. It is our own lack of awareness of this shadow that hurtles us towards our own oblivion.
Closeness vs Care. We all desire to be close to another person. It is the connection that we dare to foster and also so scared to lose. We wish to create care, but we cannot create that which is already innate. It comes from the heart space. Attention and compassion towards the other individual is a reflection of our own attention and compassion of self. When the heart begins to thaw from its icy shell we allow that closeness and care to grow. In the fight it is our disconnection from closeness and care that quickly escalates as we then tend to lose perspective and actually disconnect from our reasoning and closeness of self.
Respect vs recognition. The ultimate wound we face is the one when we cannot respect or recognize the love for another person which is the reflection of our hearts. Lack of self respect and lack of self recognition is the root of many fights.
The person we are actually fighting in any argument is the persona or mask of our self, as we fail to recognize and respect our higher Self. This is where is all begins. Recognizing our own divinity in another. To respect this divinity from the soul space unfolds the ability to welcome the closeness and care of our heart space. Then the self control of our mind space are when we discover that the only power we seek is the inner power, our will to live a life on purpose and be inspired to share that vision with the rest of humanity.
Pause before the next fight and examine these scenarios. It is wise to evaluate which wounding is acting up in order to take us away from thrival and into survival.
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I love you
