When I left the delivery room with our children each time I scanned the room on the way out. Baby in hand check. Clothes bag check. Diapers check. A thought I used to have recently surfaced. I remembered that both times I looked back for an instructional manual !!
The fear and the fright of what to do next was overwhelming. I had read dozens of pediatric books and child psychology books. Nothing was to prepare me for what was to come. Being a parent. Whether it is the first kid or the second or third or more, it does not matter. Each child brings to the world a unique set of values by which they set their lives in motion. Any parent would probably say that these set of values are not in alignment with their own. So where is the instructional manual?
Those nights of colds and high fevers, where was the instructional manual?
Those times where each child is fighting with the other one, where was the instructional manual?
Those dinners that the child refused to eat, despite it being the same thing they had been used to eating. Where was the instructional manual?
Those times when I was getting late and right at the front door a melt down took form. Where was the instructional manual?
For no good reason the child decides to explore the surfaces of the walls with permanent marker, where was the instructional manual?
3 am awakening to start to play where was the instructional manual?
What ever I have repressed, my children find a way to express. This is something that every parent has experienced. On this journey I have searched for the instructional manual. Could not find it. Till today I discovered that the journey itself is the instructional manual. And I am writing it. One for each kid. Each manual is very different. There are no limits to the number of pages for these manuals. We all have an instructional manual, hidden away by the creator after we were born, just to make it more fun to re write another one.
We create our own manual of self governance. We are the unique blueprint of a magnificent universe. On each day of our birth it may not be a bad idea to see what we have already written in our own manual and perhaps look towards writing the next few chapters.
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I love you
