Pushing that boulder
Push, stop, push, stop, push, rest. At times life feels like pushing a big large boulder uphill. That is also what I hear most frequently when I ask ” How are you doing?” The response is ” Still alive,pushing that rock uphill !” Well, I must declare that that statement is quite awe inspiring and has been buried in my sub conscious for a long time. It became my preferred response for many years. Moreover the more I said it, the more it became a reality. Life became a giant chore. Instead of all my daily necessary yet mundane chores and commitments being fillers in my day, they took over and became the objects of my day and the important priorities such as meditation, exercising, personal growth, more personal communication ( to name but a few) became the fun sprinkles of cinnamon on my otherwise cold stale brewed coffee of my day. I had to come up with a different model. So I did.
I changed the size and shape of the boulder. That’s it. Simple. Actually it was that simple. I reshaped my chores to the most necessary and brought it down into a manageable, tidier structure. It has been a long time held belief that attempting to move a square shaped boulder is harder to move than a spherical shaped boulder is to revolutionize on a level surface, let alone up a hill. ( Hence the bicycle wheels are round and not square). Now reduce the size of it and now you do not need the army of help that the Pharaohs once did in Ancient Egypt while transporting large structures. Well that’s all very fine and dandy one might think, yet how do you do it? Transpose the priorities. I listed all the things that are really important to me, and planned my day AROUND them. In other words chores became the fillers once more. I can not escape chores. Whether I am just me, a king, or the poorest man in the world, chores will remain. A king may have numerous commitments of holding court, deciding matters of state, visiting other heads of state etc. These are all necessary duties. He may not have to clean his own toilet but he is not just sitting around doing nothing which he may desire to do. His personal priority might be learning something new like music or art. Chores or duties will interfere with this ambition, yet they do not have to. The poorer man might have stresses of work, finances, home activities and basic necessities. His priority is probably consumed with these stressors yet his important priority might be just to be happy. Filling his day with more mindfulness and moments of quiet reflection can help him find this goal.
It is not black or white, “everything is a shade of grey” I understand that, yet the boulder does not know that. It just is and has to be moved. Life’s duties are just there and they need to be moved. Yet sometimes I find that I am so “in my head” that I fail to realize that things can be simple and can be simplified even further. It is a question of whether I choose to make the chores or the important purposes to be the priority, and I do that by reshaping and resizing the boulder. I do not think it will mind. So I transposed the chores with my soulful goals or purposes. The focus on the latter and not the former helped put things into perspective, like what is current my position on the uphill slope ?was it a level surface and had I not noticed that the ground had shifted ?Things like am I stronger to be able to push my boulder? did I need to push my boulder ?, or until recently am I really even pushing a boulder or is it really all in my head loaded with fears ?. The boulder concept became my fear and to serve it, I obsessed with the silliest of chores and made them into a priority. The boulder ruled my life and I was chained to it. No more.
My purpose on this planet is on the top of my list. It is sewn together with good intentions and goals of ideals that I would like to cultivate. Compassion, healing, non judgment are the pillars. Things that I want to really pursue and learn in life are the priorities. Rest of the necessary chores of daily living are there and must be fulfilled yet I am not going to obsess over them. When I fall under the pressure of the rock or boulder I am forced to change. I am at that precipice now. My goal is to make my boulder as small as I can make it so that it fits into my pocket. Just heavy enough for me to know that it is there,yet not big enough for it to overwhelm me.
Do you have your hammer and chisel? Ready to reshape and make your boulder in life smaller?
